There are at least two types of feedback in communication:

• feedback to show we have understood or less a message
• feedback to one’s behaviour

Both are important aspects in communication because they allow to:

• reduce misunderstandings.
• change negative behaviours reducing conflicts.

Give feedback to show we have understood a message

To reduce misunderstanding, some useful strategies are:

• ask questions
• repeat in our own words the message we have received to have confirmation from the sender that we have really understood the message

Give feedback about one’s behaviour

Sometimes it is not simple giving feedback because we may hurt the other person. This would lead to discussion.

In the book Creiamo cultura insieme is reported a technique called I statement message that have the purpose to give feedback without judging and discussing.

This technique consists in describing, using the I statement:

• the behaviour we have perceived in the other person
• the emotions we have felt due to this behaviour (emotional effect)
• what we have done due to the emotions we felt (factual effect)
• show openness

For example we could say: when you interrupted me when I was speaking during the last meeting (behaviour), I felt frustrated and unappreciated (emotional effect). Because of that, I stopped sharing my ideas (factual effect).

The main principle to give feedback without hurting people are:

• Use statements that do not imply judgement.
• Be specific on the behaviour we are referring to. Do not generalise. If one interrupted us, do not say You always interrupt me, but When you interrupted me during the last meeting.
• Focusing on the facts and behaviours and not on the character of the other person.

Related Questions:

Related Topics:

• Communication

References

• Creiamo cultura insieme | 2021 | Irene Facheris
• Saper criticare