My Learning NotesHow to solve a discussion
To all of us it has been happened to be engaged in a discussion where strong emotions prevail and the ability to think clearly is put aside.
All the times this happened, after the end of the discussion, I always felt guilty also when I was right. I felt guilty because I was not able to control myself and the discussion was useless for both the actors.
Because discussions often lead to feel negative emotions and are often useless, therefore it is better to be able to solve a discussion and learn to dialogue.
In the book How to win friends and influence people and in other articles is suggested the following to solve a discussion:
- Try to find points of agreement between the two visions.
- Respect the other ideas, try to understand and comprehend also if you do not agree (see The difference between understand, comprehend, agree and justify)
- If you are wrong, admit it immediately
- Do not discuss the conclusions, but try to comprehend the premises and the arguments.
- Follow the main principles I reported in How to treat other people and make ourselves loved.
- Ask yourself: what is the message the other person is trying to transmit?
- Try to regulate your emotions in order to calm down.
- Add some pauses to the discussion to break the rhythm of the discussion itself and let to both the parts to calm down.
Conclusions
I think that the main principles to solve a discussion are:
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Always treat other people with respect
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Listen what other people say
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Avoid that strong emotions drive you
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Be honest
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Be curious and maintain an attitude that focus on the seeking of the truth (see The Scout Mindset)
Related Questions:
Related Topics:
References
- How to win friends and influence people | 2018 | Dale Carnagie
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