To communicate effectively is important to be able to treat other people and make ourselves loved. It is more difficult to communicate effectively if the other person can’t stand you.

The following are suggestions some collected from various contents and some from my own thoughts to treat other people:

• Do not blame, complain, criticise
• Make honest and sincere appreciations
• Smile when it is opportune. When there is a conflict with a person, smiling it may not be the better choice because may seems you are mocking that person.
• Listen what other people say
• Make other people feel important
• Always respect other people

These suggestions arise several questions:

• Should we make ourselves loved by all people?
• How to treat with difficult people?
• How to change others behaviours?
• How to get your point without complaining?

Should we make ourselves loved by all people

I agree that it is better to be loved than do not be stood by other people. However there are people that do not share our values and have values completely conflicting with ours. Should we make ourselves loved also by these people?

If to be loved by these people means giving up our values, it is better not to try to be loved by this kind of people because it would make us unhappy.

The question is an ethical question. Should I make a compromise with my values to be loved by these people? If you consider the compromise unethical, do not try to be loved by these people.

Also from the psychological point of view, there is the suggestion to do not try to make ourselves loved by all people because this may lead to stress and anxiety.

It is better to make loved by people that are important for us, always respect other people, but without trying to be loved by all people.

How to treat with difficult people

Sometimes we have to treat with difficult people. Typically they are people that have values and personality completely different from us. Sometimes you can’t completely avoid those people because you may have to work with.

Therefore it is necessary be able to treat also with difficult people.

Some suggestions to treat with these people are:

• Try to stay calm and do not react to their behaviour
• Practice empathy
• Listen other people
• Show respect
• If you are wrong, admit it immediately
• In general, also the other suggestions to treat other people are valid

How to get your point without complaining

I agree that do not complain makes simple to treat with other people. However this is not a justification to do not get your point in particular when you have been wronged.

But how can one get their point without complaining?

Some suggestions are:

• Wait to express your point until you feel calm and the strong emotions are not flown away.
• Be clear about the the things that have not satisfied you and what you expected. Do not focus on the person, but on the behaviour or the event that have not satisfied you.
• Propose a solution and not only what have not satisfied you, otherwise it will be only a complain.

Conclusions

I think that the main principles to treat other people are:

• Always treat other people with respect
• Listen what other people say
• Avoid that strong emotions drive you when you are communicating with another person. Rather wait, calm down, and only then communicate with the others.

Related Questions:

• How to stay calm and do not react in a conversation

Related Topics:

• Communication

References

• How to win friends and influence people | 2018 | Dale Carnagie
• 20 Expert Tactics for Dealing With Difficult People | 2015 | Barbara Markway
• 6 Ways to Get What You Want (Without Being Called a Whiner) | 2015 | Susan Krauss Whitbourne