How to change how we interpret past experiences?

• There is a method called Cognitive reframing that consists in the following steps:
  1. Identify the past experience that we want to reinterpret
  2. Identify what is the thought that is useless and bring us to feel negative emotions.
  3. Do what follows:
     1. Question the thought to prove that it is not always true
     2. Find other meanings of the past experience that are more useful and bring us to feel positive emotions.
• Although I think that reframing a past experience only by question the thought and find useful meanings is not sufficient and it is necessary also to live experiences that support the new meanings and beliefs.

More in general reframing means considering a situation under a new perspective.

What is the cognitive dissonance?

• Cognitive dissonance is the situation we live when we receive new information that are in contrast with our existing beliefs.
• When we experience cognitive dissonance, our brain tends to:
  • do not considerate the new information that are in contrast with our existing beliefs
  • reinterpret the new information to align them to our existing beliefs
  • find new information that supports our existing beliefs (confirmation bias) instead to be open to the new information and try to revision our beliefs.

References

• Fattore 1%. Mazzucchelli L.

What is psychological flexibility?

Psychological flexibility is the ability to:

• adapting to a situation, including the ones that cause us pain, and acting coherently with our values.
• be aware of the present moment and all the emotions, thoughts and sensations we experience.
• sometimes living in the future to clarify and plan goals, sometimes living in the past to lesson learned but always in a positive way without continuously returning on negative thoughts without taking action.
• balance needs and values across various life domains.

Let’s say that Paul has an important test to do in few days. He would prefer to spend time doing other things and he is starting to feeling stressed and worried because of the test. Instead continuing to think about the test in negative way, he decides to remind himself that it is ok to feel stressed. He then thinks what he has done in the past to be adequately prepared for tests and he reminds himself that passing the test is very important to him.

What is self affirmation and why is it important?

Self affirmation means:

• reflect on our own life values and on what matters for us
• acknowledge that our life has value.

It is important because various researches suggest that self affirmation reduce stress level.

Higher stress level indicates low happiness and viceversa.

The stress is the result of a tension. A tension is caused by at least two difference forces that act in different directions.

The topic of the importance to know our own life values to be happy is present in several books and courses (Benjamin Franklin – An American Life, Drive, Finding Purpose and Meaning In Life: Living for What Matters Most, Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai, Introduction to Self-Determination Theory, The Happiness Trap ).
So I decided to know more about it.

What are life values?

Life values are:

• what is important for a person in his life.
• beliefs

Why do we have life values?

Life values help us to decide how to behave in our life and what is the right thing to do. Therefore life values define our actions.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness means awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.

Paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment means focusing on what we are feeling in the present moment with our senses.

Non judgmentally means letting go all the thoughts that may arise when we focus in the present moment.

What is mindfulness for? What are the main effects of mindfulness?

Mindfulness is mainly used to reduce the negative effects of our thoughts.