Paolo's learning notes

Traits of a wise man

In the book Meditations: Marcus Aurelius there are several phrases that inspired me.

These phrases define the traits of a wise man or at least what I consider a wise man.

These traits should be used as a reference to live our lives.

These traits are:

  • Be able to forgive
  • Be able to change idea when you are wrong
  • Collaborate and relate to others. We are not born to oppose each others.
  • Do not waste time to judge others. Focusing on what our self do.
  • Be able to accept what happens and live by your values. This do not mean to do not take action to change things. But accept what it is already happened.
  • Always respect others with our actions and speaking.
  • Be simple, kind, serious, fair, affectionate, ambitious to learn new things, energetic to do fulfil our duties.
  • Do not be afraid of change.
  • Do not complain. If you can, correct what’s wrong, if you can’t, accept without complaining and adapt yourself.

I report here below, in Italian, some phrases that particularly inspired me:

The importance of action

In several books and contents is highlighted the importance of action to improve.

No one can improve if no put in action what they have learned.

It is better to act, sometimes making some errors and correct them, than do not act and only learn something in theory.

Our actions depends on our thoughts. Sometimes our negative thoughts stop us from act. The resistance given by our negative thoughts can be overcome by starting to act.

What are the main principles about communication

The main principles about communication are:

  • Always respect the other people. This imply:
    • Do not judge or criticise.
    • Be honest. If you are wrong, admit it immediately
  • Clarify:
    • what is the purpose of what you want to communicate.
    • what is your audience and the context
    • When is the best time to communicate the message
  • Listen carefully what the other person want to say. What are their needs and point of views? Develop empathy.
  • Be specific and speak using simple words and phrases.
  • Avoid that strong emotions drive you

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What are the most useful techniques in communication

When… then…
the other person is speaking - use active listening
you have to give feedback - use I statement technique
you have to change others opinion - Focus on the other person. In particular their reasons, motivations and emotions.
- Reduce resistance and help the other person find their own motive to change their opinion.
- use Motivational Interviewing to develop discrepancy between the actual values and the behaviours.
- Reframe your arguments using arguments that resonate with other people’s values.
logical arguments do not work - use storytelling
you have to calm down during a conversation - use pause technique

Related Questions:

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References