Paolo's learning notes

What are the main principles about communication

The main principles about communication are:

  • Always respect the other people. This imply:
    • Do not judge or criticise.
    • Be honest. If you are wrong, admit it immediately
  • Clarify:
    • what is the purpose of what you want to communicate.
    • what is your audience and the context
    • When is the best time to communicate the message
  • Listen carefully what the other person want to say. What are their needs and point of views? Develop empathy.
  • Be specific and speak using simple words and phrases.
  • Avoid that strong emotions drive you

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What are the most useful techniques in communication

When… then…
the other person is speaking - use active listening
you have to give feedback - use I statement technique
you have to change others opinion - Focus on the other person. In particular their reasons, motivations and emotions.
- Reduce resistance and help the other person find their own motive to change their opinion.
- use Motivational Interviewing to develop discrepancy between the actual values and the behaviours.
- Reframe your arguments using arguments that resonate with other people’s values.
logical arguments do not work - use storytelling
you have to calm down during a conversation - use pause technique

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Good habits to improve

Here I report some generic suggestions that I have found in various books and articles to improve and growth as a human being:

  • Surround yourself to people that do what you want to do and are what you want to become because you can be inspired by them and learn from them.

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